ON ENJOYING OUR BEST SELVES

Stella is amazing—she’s vibrant and happy and always seems to be the one making suggestions and organizing places to go and things to do for our group of friends who’ve been hanging out since high school. Even though some of us are moms and some work 24/7—and some do both—most of us have such busy lives—yet we make time for each other and we always have each other’s backs.

So when I saw Stella frowning when nobody was looking at her (she thought! but I’m crafty!) on our last coffee date and she said that at the office they’ve been hiring younger workers and now she feels like the oldest. She isn’t—but she feels like it, I knew what I had to do!

Luckily, I was able to save the day--and, pat on back, Stella's smiling again! Because another friend had come to me with the same problem.

WHY STELLA FEELS OLD

“It's true,” she said. “Okay, the new women are not 10. But sometimes act like it. They wear leggings and crop tops and boots and I'm in a dress and a jacket and carrying a bag big enough to hold all the makeup I need.”

I asked her why she needed makeup. She used to hardly wear any—and I’d been shocked when she sat down to see how much was caked on. She said she'd started doing a refresh at lunch--to keep pace with their fresh young faces--at first just lipstick and a touch of mascara as usual—but now she did a complete makeup in the morning and a redo at lunch.

When I asked if it helped, she shook her head. And it turned out her new colleagues weren’t acting like they were 10—they were simply being—their age!

My other friend with the same problem--had said her clients were getting younger and younger. And we’d put our heads together and come up with a variation on the elevator pitch.

THE NEW ELEVATOR PITCH

We all change a little as we get older—hopefully, we feel more comfy in our skin and more capable, knowledgeable, and able to relax. It doesn’t mean we have to look older. (see microcurrent!) But our elevator pitch needs to change a little as we do and show who we are and what we do.

Focus on the truth—and thinking positive (of course—you know me!). Not that you can't do your usual jog around the block at lunch because your knee hurts... but that you've discovered gentle yoga and like that so much better. Plus you're not pounding on the pavement anymore--which isn't good for you!

YOU ARE GETTING BETTER

So I told Stella that it's not that you're older--it's like that commercial used to say, “You're Getting Better.” That's your elevator pitch. What Stella offers that nobody else has--her unique experience, capability, practical knowhow, and a couple of decades of how things work and dealing with situations in the places she's lived such as Paris, Miami, and the other places I can't even remember that she moved to when she was exploring the world.

Plus she has 3 decades more experience of life and work in her brain on how to respond to people in stress or suffering loss—to help with the complaints from angry, disappointed, or irate customers in the customer service department of her insurance company.

The 10-year-olds don't have that (sorry if you’re reading this and one of the 10’s!) . Stella’s useful to know because of where she’s been and what she’s done, and she she can help!

She was going to start sharing little tidbits of knowledge and expertise, to help them get beyond the know-it-all confidence that could take them into hot water.—and actually begin to do the job. She was going to lead—be who she was.

She was going to help them grow and be the GO TO when they're stuck. Stella was revelling in her role as a mentor just thinking about it.

So that's what she did--she rebooted her elevator pitch, stopped wearing tons of makeup (truly, she had on triple layers when I met her for coffee!). And next time we had coffee was her usual bubbly self and I was in stitches. And she was wearing leggings under her long tunic and little flats and looked great!

At that first coffee date, I also gave her my Warsh Cloth so she could make sure to get all that makeup and grime off--and not further damage her skin. And shared my Cheat Sheet—5 Ways to Look Younger (and only one of them has to do with how you wash/Warsh your face--stay tuned or email me for a copy!)